Hi,
I participated in an Ayahuasca ceremony a few weeks ago with Miguel and Katu. Before I share some of my experience, I need to say Miguel and Katu hold a beautiful space. I felt fully supported, enabling me to relax into the night.
I have participated in a number of ceremonies. Up until the last one my focus has been on asking the Grandmother (medicine) for help with clearing old traumas. This has been very beneficial for me. In addition to liberating old patterns, I have remembered and connected who I really am, a spiritual being (soul) having a human experience. This ceremony my intentions/prayer to the medicine were asking for help with:
• Understanding more about what it means to be a “Spiritual being” having a human experience
• An Indian Guru I recently spent time with discussed that the purpose of our physical life is to “Merge with God”. I asked for a deeper understanding of what this meant
• Recently, while contemplating my conscious and subconscious mind I became aware of what people refer to as the “Observer”. There was something observing “me” contemplating my conscious and subconscious mind. I asked for help to connect and understand more about the observer.
• The need for Silence has been coming up for me recently. I asked for help to embody silence
During the ceremony I connected with all of these intentions, in a way they all blended together. I will share a little of my experience.
After about an hour of having the medicine I observed a black fog coming towards and entering my body. I was observing/watching this happening from outside of my body. I later realized that the black fog was the fog of death. Not in the sense of physical death. The fog represented all the conditioning/programming/beliefs/traumas that I had been exposed to from the day I was born. It had seeped into all of my cells. I then had an insight that all the work I have been doing over the last 20 years has been to remove the fog/Ego, getting back to the clean vessel my mind/body was when it was born.
Next minute I found myself inside of my mind. It was a curious experience. There were a large number of beings in there offering me plates off all sorts of delights. Like being in a fancy restaurant surrounded by waiters. I had a deep insight that this is how my mind works. It is constantly offering me this and that. Would I like to do this? judge that? go there? try this? The voice endlessly chattering away. At that moment I made a conscious decision to not take anything from the plate and "snap" the beings disappeared, and my mind was completely silent. It was a wonderful experience. So peaceful and yet with a deep sense of knowing. I realized that this is how I meant to live my life, silent and allowing knowingness to emerge. Not having to "think" about what I should or should not do, just allowing and doing/saying what felt right. I then understood that this was what the Guru meant by "merging with God".
Three weeks later I am still integrating all the gifts from this ceremony. Was a great birthday present :). Thanks again Miguel and Katu for creating and holding a beautiful space for my experience to emerge.
Hugs